Today in coaching an actor on his character analysis, we reached an impasse. We could sense from the script the specific struggle of the character. We could see where the struggle began and the source for this struggle. We could even see the win the character had at the play’s conclusion. What we are struggling for was the moment in the script that triggered the change from winning to loosing. When did the character actually “get it”? What tipped the scale? When did effort-full become effortless?
Here is where the learning moment came for me and the young actor. The student and I began to have a dialogue about how do we get the things we want and the seemingly inherent effort that is required. What kind of insanity leads us to do the same things over and over and expect different results? MUST we work for everything we get? Is effort always required? Questions. I get it. If you don’t like questions, you would never, ever want to take a class with me. . .
Working backwards from the win back to the problem we then discovered a most telling moment. It became, at least for me, the “ah-ha” moment of the day. We found the moment in which the character began to git it – – the character went from working for something to actually providing that something for others. He stepped out of his way and gave away everything he wanted. Then he started to win.
I loved this. I drove home with this. I got the mail with this. I sat on the floor and explained this to my poodles. It may be attached to some old cliche, living on some Hallmark card or attached to some god-awful kitty poster – – but – – that just means it has been proven true.
You need to give away everything you want.
I’m sure that teenagers think you need to work for everything you want. Set a goal. Give it your all. Work for it. Work for it. It will not be given to you; you are not entitled to it. Work for it. That sounds like what parents would say to a kid. That sounds like the right thing to say TO kids. BUT, if this young actor that was struggling on his character analaysis decides to swing by the school some 40 years from now (and I have magically lived to 107), I would offer this OTHER tip on how to get the things you want – – just give it away.