I almost never have a problem with behavior in the classroom. I take personal pride in being able to direct the students attention to the work at hand and away from the myriad of possible distractions. I believe that if I am doing my job of teaching then there will be NO time and NO interest in crosstalk and bad behavior. But today was different – either my teaching was not up to par today or rudeness was simply running rampant.
I was in the midst of a lecture and I could sense a pair of students off task in the back of the room. I paused during the lecture and sent a bit of an “I see you” look – thinking that would be all that was needed – and I was right for a moment – but then the look failed and the chatter continued. The lecture moved forward and then it popped up again. Now I had to stop the class – now I had to ask specifically for two to stop and come back on the learning train. Then, god bless it, it happened a third time. I felt the earth move within me and contemplated my next step . . .
In my 26 years of teaching I have only totally lost it twice. I mean lost it. I shouted and fumed and thought evil thoughts – but that was only twice – and I am thinking that once every thirteen years should be forgiven. I have always hated people and especially teachers that yell or raise their voice. Those who raise their voice are shouting – shouting how weak they are, that is. I have always wanted to own my strength in the classroom. I do not express anger, much less raising my voice – – but today I was tempted . . .
What to do? I stopped everything. It wasn’t going to help anyone for me to go on with the lecture. Everyone knew THAT wasn’t going to happen for me. I stopped, then I just pulled my chair up a few feet closer to trouble. I really just sat there and looked at the students. I had no idea what my next step should be . . I didn’t want to scold, knew I shouldn’t nag, worried that I might raise my voice. What to do? I just set there – set there and spent some quality time with them. The rest of the class seemed to excuse me for the two minutes I was off task. I wanted my silence to help say the things that I either didn’t know or was afraid to express. I stayed quiet.
5 comments on “Sitting Next to It”
How did it work? Did the two talkers realize that they needed to shut up and let the rest of the students hear the lecture?
I really commend you for not losing it the third time.
One time I was in a mastermind and the leader asked us to do an exercise he called the Vortex of Vulnerability. And part of it was to list the last three times we completely lost it. It was really a painful, yet helpful exercise for me. I was ashamed that I lost it, but I really did. I’m normally a pretty nice person, and I guess that’s what the exercise was about. It helped me be more understanding of people who lose it.
You’ve got a REALLY good record.
I’m glad you found an alternative behavior to losing it.
And I’m really glad you took the chance of sharing it with us.
It’s really instructive and I truly hope I remember it next time I’m at a loss for words and teetering on the verge of a meltdown.
🙂
How I wish more teachers, in fact more people, were like you! I absolutely hate it when people raise their voice, “Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.” Kids will always be kids and unfortunately some just want to stand out, that’s why they act like that. Not because they’re bad, not because they’re spoiled, because they just want to stand out and get more attention from everyone around them. They want to show others they are special. We all just need to be patient with them and not forget we were once kids as well.
That is a great tip for teachers who lose their patience in the class too often – seriously, I think being quiet helps to concentrate your thoughts and it’s the best thing you can do if you want to stay calm. Your experience gave you and your students huge lesson and that’s the main reason in our life – learn everyday.
I can see your point, but at the same time you should not beat yourself up over the fact that some students are going to cross talk while you are teaching. If you are getting into a long winded session, there is going to be some, but correcting it and moving on is the best option!
I’d love to hear how this turned out.
I’ve read your more recent blog posts and don’t remember seeing it referenced.
However, I admire that you didn’t allow yourself to lose it.
I’m sure being in the teaching profession isn’t easy. Between being responsible for the behavior of others (who you have no influence in raising) and the school politics – in addition to wanting ot keep things interesting enough for your students to want to follow along with…you’ve got a lot going on.
But I know that when things happen to push our buttons, there’s a meaning to it. It’s usually to stop us and get us to observe something specific. The external situation is to alert us to something within.
Let us know in an update how this played out. You could name it “Sitting next to it – and now behind it” 😉