This past week, Company (my audition-only acting class) has been working on an Authentic Self Project. Many BFA acting programs around the country have a similar program, although they may call it a variety of names. Basically, it is a project for the college freshman class that gives them a blank canvas with very little structure and the simply requirement to share their “authentic self” with the class. I gave my class a similar challenge as their first assignment. Immediately after the assignment was made, the questions POURED in. “How long does it have to be.” “Do we need to talk?” “Can we use music?” “Can I just sit in a chair?” Their excellent student skills and ferocious work ethic rose to the surface and was about to choke any chance they had of being “authentic.” If I had said music was to be used, then the winner would be the one who chose the best music. If I had said that of course you needed to talk – then the best talk and the best talker would win. I wanted NO winners. I wanted NO contest. I wanted NO one to get this RIGHT. How can you ever be authentic when you are working to be right? Chose one, because both will elude you.
Now the TRUE aggravation for them began. One would ask, “I’m going to need some guidance, because I have no clue what to do tonight.” My response would be (and admittedly most annoyingly be), “Your need to have guidance says something very interesting about you.” They would say, “There’s a trick to this thing. Higgins always has a trick with these things. My response, “That says some very interesting about you that a trick is presumed.” Another would say, “This whole thing is pissing me off. Stop answering every damn question with ‘this says something very interesting about you.’” And my response, “Indeed, this says something very interesting about you.” And on and on.
Resentment, frustration, and chaos marched out of the class along with the students at the end of the period. And, of course, my smart ass nature whispered under my breath, “That says something very interesting about all of them . . . “ Tell me any road to get to “authentic” that doesn’t include a detour to resentment, frustration, and chaos and I’ll show you a (something . . . I lost a good punchy metaphor to put here – but you get the point.)
Showtime and the work was quite amazing. Creativity, originality and ultimately, authenticity came to be. They worked through all of their issues in getting it right. They had said “F*** it!” to themselves. They had resigned to get the “F” or what ever punishment awaits students too busy being real to be correct. The class danced with love and respect for each other. Interestingly, the students’ response to the work had nothing to do with the work they just saw -i t was, instead, all about who THEY were in light of what was being presented to them.
When all was said and done the adorable smart ass of the class asked me, “What grade did I get?” My response, “You got an A.” But before the student could smile, I continued, “But I would have given you an “A” even if you said you didn’t have anything or that you just didn’t want to do the stupid exercise. . . why . .. why . . cause . .. . wait for it . . . it would have said something very interesting about you.”