HUGucation

Today, at the end of Company, I was reflecting on the importance of being present as an actor – and I rather accidentally stumbled on the question of asking students how long it has been since they received a full-out wonderful hug. The response was rather shocking. Many of these attractive, intelligent students got a bit misty eyed and claimed that can’t remember the last time they were hugged. I asked, “aren’t you getting some hugging’ from the ma and pa?” Rather disturbingly many said no. What the heck is up with that?

Parents – – how in the world am I to get these young actors to be present in their bodies for the work they do if you are not seeing to the feeding and caring of their sense of presence. The epidermis, the largest organ in the body, designed predominantly for it’s reception of trust, is starving. Parents, you so clearly see to your child’s need for food – why the waning interest in feeding their sense of touch? Who better, safer, and more appropriate to take on this responsibility? The need for touch doesn’t end in the cradle. I am a bit worried to think what these young folk will do outside of your care with such a mal-nourshment? They may be willing to accept touching at all costs with no discernment. That sounds scary!

Okay, enough with the attack on parents. I would be the hug giver – – but for some very appropriate reasons (and some totally inane ones) I am not to be their hug partner. But you . . . Okay no more parent bashing, I promise.

Hugging. Here are a few thoughts. First we don’t do it enough! Short, sweet, and the truth. Some touching seems to find it’s way into our world. There is always the punch to the shoulder, the tap on the back, the pinch on the cheek, the high-fiveing, and the exotic menagerie of handshakes. (I always wonder there they learn these). But these informal styles of touching are merely the junk food of presence – – feels good, is fun, and is so much better then starving, but sometimes we all need a full healthy meal – – a full healthy hug.

No, not a tepee hug but a full on hug. Here is the ultimate. Stand face to face. Feel the presence of your shoe to their shoe. Be able to tap their knee with yours. Obviously hip to hip and chest to chest. And for a bit of sacred touching try adding a bit of neck to neck touching; you will never go back!

Don’t slap – – your masculinity was not called to question. Don’t squeeze – – I am a person in here, not a teddy bear. How long? Hug long enough so that you can own my sense of breathing. Experience a few of my inhales and exhales. Risk this silence with me. And to move our hug to the highest level – breath with me, match breath, run away or perhaps inward with me. Be with me. Presence. The only place to nurture art.