The Faculty Meeting Has No Clothes

I would begin by stating clearly that the administration for my school is amazing.  They support the lowly work of the classroom teacher in amazing ways.  I couldn’t ask better.  But faculty meetings.  Faculty meeting.  Can we talk faculty meetings?

The problem I have about faculty meetings is that is the very best example of the very worst behavior in the school.  No one is paying attention.  Everyone is grading papers, on their laptops, or eating “snacks” as if they had not eaten since the summer began.  And cell phones . .  .cell phones.  Teachers warn students to put them away in that they will distract them and, moreover, it is quite rude.  But we clearly don’t do as we say; we do as we please and crush candy over and over again.  But my number one gripe with faculty meetings is how almost every table has a pair or two that talk and talk and talk through all of the presentations.  Granted some of the presentations are a bit unfocused, but how does that give the audience permission to so misbehave?  And the thing that upsets me the most about this rude, talking behavior is that I am guilty of it almost every time.

Why am I so bad?  My theory is that the faculty meeting is wearing no clothes.  The administration will bring up a new strategy or rule given to them from the school board that was given to them from the state capital that was given to them by the king of bad ideas.  The idea will be presented.  Every single table INCLUDING the administration CLEARLY knows that this is a bad idea – – that it is NOT serving students, but they continue to talk  – stretching the unbearable fallacies on and on toward an acronym that actually makes it worse.  What the hell is the teacher to do?   We want to stand up and shout, “How does this serve students?  We are the professionals!  You hired us.  Trust us”.  This “new idea” is not needed by the good teacher and will never be heard or understood by the bad teacher.   But the administration must go on selling it like a car with no tires.  This produces a bad mojo in the crown.  It is futile to disagree – – so our discontent and evil leaks out all over the table, laptops, and ungraded papers.

But I have a solution!  It will never happen for good reasons.  But what the hell – – this is my blog, not my lesson plans.  I propose that an administrator stand at the podium and shout out that the plan they just described is STUPID, WRONG, and HAS NO PLACE IN THE CLASSROOM.  Followed, of course, by BUT, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THIS IS A GOVERNMENT SCHOOL AND YOU ARE GETTING A GOVERNMENT PAYCHECK SO DO THIS!  I’d get it.  I’d do it.  My evil inner monologue would shut up.

It doesn’t make the plan any smarter, but at least the teacher in the crowd is helped by knowing that they are not alone and that they are not crazy.  The Emperor is indeed naked and it makes me feel much better if someone shouts this out.